By: J. Oscar C. Jimenez-Halla
I am an open page. I am not afraid to express myself freely. I am, I know, free thought and nothing more. I don’t need anyone in particular to love me, perhaps a woman. I need everyone to love me—I do not belong to just one person, I belong to the whole world. I am free, and at the same time, chained to this world.
I need everyone to accept me, to love me just as I am. And maybe sometimes I am so happy that no one notices, that no one knows how to express to me just how happy I am to be myself and to think the way I think at every moment. And maybe sometimes I feel depressed... but perhaps no one notices that either, because I don’t even know how to reach into a person’s heart and make them feel what I, so sadly at times, feel.
And I am not depressed because of love or nostalgia for my beloved land, nor for my parents, nor for anyone or anything in particular. I believe, rather, that when I feel down, it is because—even though I have my ideals and my life shines with each new "magical" idea I discover—sometimes I also see things that shouldn’t be. Sometimes I encounter contempt where it is almost ridiculous to find it. Or I can see envy, or pity, or some foolish feeling in the eyes of others, directed at me or at other good people who walk daily from here to there and back again. I see them.
And so, if all that is good is beautiful, and among all that goodness are my fellow human beings… why is everything this way?
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